Sunday, September 29, 2013

Choosing a Wedding Reading

We scoured the internet for the perfect wedding reading for months. We looked at poetry, song lyrics, movie quotes, and wedding articles and could not find anything we liked. Everything was too cheesy, or too wordy, or too impersonal. We did find a Metallica song that was surprisingly fitting, but I really didn’t want anyone to laugh when they came to the realization that our 70 year official was reading lyrics from a metal band, so we decided against it. Here are the lyrics, hard to believe they are from a hard core rock band right??

Metallica
“Nothing Else Matters”
So close no matter how far 
Couldn't be much more from the heart 
Forever trust in who we are 
And nothing else matters 

Never opened myself this way 
Life is ours, we live it our way 
All these words I don't just say 
And nothing else matters 

Trust I seek and I find in you 
Every day for us something new 
Open mind for a different view 
And nothing else matters 

This next reading I kept running into is truly awful. I read message board posts from various brides saying that this reading was “cute” and “witty”. This poem begins by referring to a toilet and praises a man for being a basic house broken human being. This says to me “Let’s start this marriage with low expectations and really re-enforce awful gender stereotypes.” (Side Note: sorry if you like this poem)

He Never Leaves the Seat Up
He never leaves the seat up
Or wet towels upon the floor
The toothpaste has the lid on
And he always shuts the door!

She’s very clean and tidy
Though she may sometimes delude
Leave your things out at your peril
In a second they’ll have moved!

He’s a very active person
As are all his next of kin
Where as she likes lazy days
He’ll still drag her to the gym!

She’s thoughtful when he looks at her
A smile upon his face
Will he look that good in 50 years
When his dentures aren’t in place?!


I didn’t even put up the whole poem, because “Ugh”. After searching and searching I finally stumbled upon a reading that didn’t make us wince and actually summed up how we felt about marriage. 

Union by Robert Fulghum
You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes, to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making commitments in an informal way. All of those conversations that were held in a car, or over a meal, or during long walks – all those conversations that began with, “When we’re married”, and continued with “I will” and “you will” and “we will” – all those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe” – and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things that we’ve promised, and hoped, and dreamed – well, I meant it all, every word.”

Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another – acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, even teacher, for you have learned much from one another these past few years. Shortly you shall say a few words that will take you across a threshold of life, and things between you will never quite be the same.

For after today you shall say to the world –
This is my husband. This is my wife.


Nice, right? So this it the reading we provided our officiant with. We also asked that he read a quote we both really liked from Dr. Seuss. 


I think these touches help make your ceremony a little more personal. You just need to be patient while looking for readings and quotes that are most fitting to you. I really hope a struggling bride does an in-depth google search like I did and stumbles across my blog post, because after my own research, it seems too many woman are settling for the cheesy and impersonal readings that make references to toilets, dentures, and forcing your spouse to go to the gym. 

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