“YOU SUCK YELLOW KNIGHT”

It finally happened. I got to take Josh to his birthday surprise, Medieval Times!!

I managed to keep it a secret and I’m glad I did because Josh was surprised when we pulled up to the big “castle”. (Its really just a building, painted to look castle-like) He seemed pretty excited though!

We checked in and our tickets were located in the Blue section, which meant we were a part of the Blue Knight’s kingdom. We each got crowns to wear. I thought those “free” crowns were for peasants, so I opted to upgrade to a better one, and Josh is a brave lord and needed a weapon to match, so I bought him a battleaxe.

After we were properly outfitted we got a couple cold beers and headed over to the Torture Museum. Then they call you into the arena.

You sit down with your brethren. It was easy to find, we just looked for the blue flags, blue lights, and blue seats. Over the next few hours you watch Knights Duel and the wenches serve you dinner. If you’ve seen “Cable Guy” then you already know, “There were no utensils in medieval times, hence there are no utensils AT Medieval Times.” Eating with your bear hands!

There were 6 different kingdoms, and it doesn’t take people very long to become loyal. Throw on a blue crown and within minutes you’ll be yelling “YOU SUCK YELLOW KNIGHT” and “YOU’RE GOING DOWN GREEN KINGDOM”. Everyone gets very into it, and me and Josh were no different.

Alas, our knight brought shame to our kingdom by not defeating the other knights. Even though we were not victorious we still had a blast. I think this guy had a little too much fun.